Friday, February 26, 2010

I guess it's time for an update. Let's see...what's happened since April! A lot of course.
Parker was diagnosed with autism sometime in June. That was no surprise. He was evaluated by the TEACCH center in Fayetteville in September and was said to be "moderate" on the spectrum.

The diagnosis brought an end to the endless doctor visits, an end to the searching, and an end to one kind of hope. The kind that wanted to believe that he was just delayed and would catch up eventually. It, the diagnosis, did not bring an end to the tears. His or mine. It did bring more therapists. It brought me a name for what is attacking our family.

The diagnosis did not bring much comfort. I think most doctors are kind at heart and want to give you some amount of good news. No one wants to look at a mother and tell her that her son has a lifelong disabling condition for which there is no treatment and no cure.

We have seen so many doctors and so many therapists. But I have concluded that they cannot help us. Most know very little about ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder). I have asked and begged, and begged and begged every doctor and therapist to help me stop his screaming/tantruming/prolonged crying. I'm sure any one of these fine people would gladly tell me how, but they just don't know. I love his therapists. I like most of his doctors. But they have given all they have. They have their limits.

So, I throw myself on the comfort and the mercy of the Lord. He is the only comfort I have, but He is enough. :) I pray without ceasing for my child. I pray for myself and our little family under siege. I will be the persistent make that the persistent mother!

When I pray for Parker, I ask for complete healing. I ask the Lord to increase his vocabulary and give him the gift of conversation. I ask that he would be able to relate to people on an age appropriate level, that he would eat a variety of foods. I ask for him to learn to regulate his emotions, for him to be covered and filled with the peace of God's Holy Spirit and that His peace would reign in our home.

But I also acknowledge that God may have plans for Parker as he is. I have learned that my trust of God's character is strong. I know He is good. My life is an offering to Him. Everything I have belongs to Him. If it serves His purpose more to use Parker as he is, I will choose to be content with that. It is a gift to be able to say, in perfect peace, "Your will be done."

So that is where I find my peace and comfort....I trust in the Lord with all my heart.
You can say it, or you can live it. The choice is yours.